The Thesis Monster and A Shameless Plea For Candy
It’s not really a monster, my thesis. It’s more like a newborn baby, helpless and entirely dependent on me. Which is even worse than a monster.
I’m planning (man are we in trouble…) on being a devoted caregiver but I currently spend 4 whole days on campus and rarely do I have time, the ability, or the inclination to work on it while I am there. In some ways I do work on it since so much of that time is spent in the studio, making hourglasses for the visual portion. The written portion, however, is moving much slower… now that I am thinking about it I actually have a decent amount of work done considering I am not actually writing it yet. I have a working bibliography with 22 sources, I’m almost done with my proposal, I have 6 hourglasses ready for glazing/firing, I have a color palette for said hourglasses… ok, I am far less freaked out now. Thanks for listening you guys, it’s nice to know someone cares (I do so amuse myself.)
Apparently I am making progress on my thesis. This is good. I would like to have more time to devote to it because, despite what everyone keeps assuming, I am looking forward to writing/finishing it. The bizarre occurrences have lessened to the point where it’s just the usual bizarre occurrences, e.g. inexplicable injuries (as I was opening a window the other day I managed to whack my head against the bannister. I sent a text to inform T, who reiterated his suggestion of full body bubble wrap. Today he sent me a text saying, “Any recent closed head wounds I should know about?” Aren’t my friends the greatest?) and the occasional personality conflict (this is the nicest euphemism I could think of to explain the clashes with certain colleagues who, for whatever reason [extreme egoism, general dickishness], find my particular brand of ego crushing maneuvers particularly upsetting [I only do this on purpose when I finally figure out that they are, in fact, assholes. Sometimes I am shockingly dense.]– This was a fun, if pointless, exercise.) which leaves me with more time to act rather than react.
I think that this post was supposed to be about something else (no, I do not remember the original topic. I don’t have time to remember.) and has instead turned into a Thesis Project Update (TPU). Having been able to be productive today I am quite pleased with myself and there are only a few things that could make this day better:
1) A spontaneous delivery of candy. I want candy. I do not want to leave to get it. These facts leave me hoping someone will show up on my doorstep bearing assorted sweets.
2) Visits/invitations for me to visit/phone calls/some form of contact with people I enjoy hearing from.
3) A spontaneous delivery of candy. I cannot stress this enough.
Barring any of those happening, I am content that today was spent with me in control and being productive. Many of my days are spent tending to the “needs” of others and that shit is exhausting. It also leaves me feeling like I am an indentured servant, which, if you were wondering, is not a good feeling. This semester’s ceramics students are particularly fine examples of what entitlement and overbearing parents can spawn (instilling in your child a desire to live up to internal expectations is one thing. When those expectations morph into crippling perfectionism, then you, the parent, have fucked up at your job and made the lives of anyone who comes in contact with your progeny unpleasant. I’m seeking damages. My lawyer will contact you.)
With that little nugget of obfuscated wisdom, I bid you adieu.