by theobfuscatedone

Yesterday was rough.  Today has been better but it took it’s time getting there.  I got new glasses and I went to yoga with a new(ish) friend.  About 20 minutes into the class all I could hear myself say was “Stop.”  Finally, I did.  I stopped following the instructor and just sat.   On one of her passes the instructor patted me gently on the back and I just sat for the rest of class.  I gave myself permission to stop.  I was allowed to stop worrying about all the things I have to do, I was allowed to stop being anxious about how I feel living here, I was allowed to just stop and be.  It was nice.

Now that I am home I am still in the “stop.” mindset.  I am allowing myself freedom from the anxiety that I have been living with 24/7.  For the first time in a long time I feel calm and content.  Yes, I have things to do but they will get done.  I will get them done but I don’t have to constantly remind myself of them.  I also realized that just because the majority of the population in the area are cold and disconnected doesn’t mean I have to be.  I can be the demonstrative, loving, and engaged person I am.  I have neglected to tell someone that I love them and I rectified that.  It’s a start and it feels right and good.

I’m excited to crawl into my warm bed, cuddle with short bus kitty, and sleep.  I’m looking forward to tomorrow and a Skype date with a friend.  Whatever else tomorrow brings I’m going to cultivate my contentedness and remember that I can stop and the world won’t end.