Apropos of Nothing
Let’s face it, I have a long history of not updating this blog in a timely fashion. That’s why you love me, right?
I’m writing to you from a haze of discombobulation. It’s discombobulation from the fact that I was forced to go to sleep around 7pm due to a change in when I take my medication. I took my medication earlier than I have been and I got the full brunt of one of the more delightful/maddening side effects.
Let’s be real for a minute. The only reason I sleep at all is because I take powerful psychotropic medication. Otherwise, I stay up too late, sleep fitfully or not at all, and cannot do anything more productive, sleep wise. So I love this medication. It makes me a functional human being. Sleep is so good ya’ll and I’m glad I get to share in that experience. However, when I take my medication earlier and I am forced to sleep the sleep of the dead, it’s hard to remember why I am thankful I get to take my medication.
The sleep this medication initially induces is intense. I MUST go to sleep otherwise I struggle to stay awake and work through a haze of tiredness. I succumb to the sleep and for an hour or two sleep so deeply that I can’t remember falling asleep or waking up. It’s so deep that an hour or two provides a shocking amount of restfulness and I wake up oddly refreshed, even though sometimes I end up going back to sleep (IT’S NIGHTTIME AND I AM AN OLD WOMAN. Also, sleep is so lovely.) I’m going to end up going back to sleep tonight; I can feel it calling to me as I write this post. But because I fell into a medication induced coma, I am also feeling rather well rested.
This side effect is strange. On the one hand, I get to sleep so well that I actually feel well rested when I wake up. On the other hand, I can’t really control WHEN I go to sleep and once the urge hits have zero ability to fight it. I’m taking the medication in the morning and have this same side effect to contend with. I need to figure out how to get the great effects from the meds without having the side effect trample my sleep/wake schedule. I’m working on it but man is it stressful in the interim dealing with the sudden, uncontrollable urge to sleep.
In other news, life is actually going pretty well. I occasionally get to glimpse truly restful sleep, I’m riding my bike 60 miles this week, 75 the next, my internships go well, and despite the feeling of “must go to sleep, cannot do or think about anything else” I managed to make food for N and I for the rest of the week. And I’m up now, briefly, so I think I’ll do some research on krill oil.
Here’s to restful sleep and getting shit done.